Every Moment is Golden...

...if you can recall the moments that is. Sometimes during busy days, it is hard to remember an actual highlight because the whole day just whizzes by like a cheetah on the hunt, a blur of colors and sounds. Today seemed like one of those days, or maybe it was just because I didn't sleep enough last night that the day seemed blurry and unfocused?

I started the day by running to work with my REI Flash daypack holding my lunch, which was homemade chicken curry with coconut milk today and very tasty, and a change of clothes. The run to work is only 2.5 miles or so, but it is enough to work up a sweat and get energized for the day. The endorphins usually linger until late afternoon. I have vivid memories of the run like the freshness of the air post-rain, the shininess of large puddles I jumped, and the stillness between the roaring of cars spaced out by red traffic lights. Then, once I arrived at work, there was no time for reflection. I barely remember a thing until it was time to leave again. This can't be good. I mean, who wants his or her life to speed along so fast there is not time to toss out a few memory anchors every now and then? If there are no memories, life is a big blank space like a wiped harddrive barrelling towards oblivion. My superhero goal for tomorrow is to slow down time.

Freely Giving

Seeing that my kids enjoyed participating in Occupy Portland last Thursday was extremely satisfying. Bailey was immediately inspired to organize a sympathy sit-down protest at his high school, and both Bay and May wanted to come back and spend the night at the park with the occupiers. I wanted to let them even though they are under-aged. There is curfew in Oregon; kids under 18 are not supposed to be roaming the streets after midnight. Well, the decision was made for me when there was a conflict with the Portland Marathon downtown. Apparently, the marathon people had reserved the two parks where the occupiers set up tents months and months ago. Eventually the two sides worked out a peaceful agreement, and the occupiers helped clean up after the marathon. Generosity.

I went to pickup our share of vegetables from “our” farm, Dancing Roots Farm, today. Shari and Brian, the owners, said they had gone down to Occupy Portland last Thursday evening just like we did and listened to the speeches and hung around the crowd. In addition, they brought a donation of fresh food to the occupiers, and they are going again on Wednesday with another donation. It makes me happy to buy my vegetables from such altruistic and involved people. Generosity.

The other night my husband offered to give me a massage, a full body massage. He told me I deserved it and that my shoulders are always too tense. His hands are strong and he gives great massages. What’s not to like? Anytime, babe! Human touch drains away fears and worries. My husband’s touch always does. Problems dissolve in warm oil under dimmed lights. My mind goes blank as my skin comes alive. Thirty minutes rolled by fast like the surge of a single wave. I was glowing and grateful. He gave of himself and his time. Generosity.

Adjusting to a Semblance of Normalcy and Order After Travelling

Returning from a long trip is always surreal. The jetlag and my generally light sleep pattern cause me to wake up in the middle of the night discombobulated not knowing where I am due to the vestiges of travel stimuli. The recollections are vivid and wash over me like waves swirling around in my brain in the early morning hours. My mind and memory are full of impressions, reactions, sensations, and images. I spend time in the dark digesting the events of the last month and awaiting daylight.

First, Chris and I travelled to Chicago to spend a week at the National Education Association’s annual national assembly as elected delegates from our union local. It was a week of meetings, eating out, and snippets of enjoying Chicago’s smorgasbord of attractions. Highlights of the meetings included Vice President Biden’s speech at the convention to 10000 educators, an appearance and speech by some of the Wisconsin 14 senators, as well as the general hubbub of the enormous gathering of people in a giant hall. The food in Chicago was infinitely better than in New Orleans, where we went last year for the national assembly and where every morsel was deep-fried and a salad consisted of sections of iceberg lettuce topped with a pound of shredded cheddar cheese, but for me the Chicago hot dog and pizza hype fell flat. It is still junk and the lines to all the famous pizza joints were way too long. An early morning run along the lakefront was memorable. Bulbous clouds were building up over the lake and the breeze was light and refreshing right before the ubiquitous humidity and heat rolled in over gobs of runners, bikers, rollerbladers, and swimmers. Chicago has very smooth and clean—hosed down daily it seemed—concrete sidewalks which allow for some easy barefooting. The requisite Art Institute, tall Willis building formerly known as Sear’s Tower, and handy river taxis all delighted as well.

Then we went to Sweden. Aaah, Sweden, the old country. I had envisioned an amorphous three-week bender of carousing, rambling about the country, and sleeping poorly in diminutive bunk beds. I was correct.

We arrived at Kastrup, the international airport of Copenhagen, and boarded a train for Kristianstad where my sweet sister Rille and husband Björn with kids live. After a few days of good food and drink, we headed by train for Göteborg to meet up with our friends Lisa and Kåre from Portland for five great days of parties with their amazing relatives and island hopping in the archipelago. On the island of Grötö, we encountered the first bunk beds, which actually was an entirely acceptable sleeping arrangement because the bunk beds were housed in a little cottage down a steep path from the main house right at the water’s edge. Sliding big screen doors facing the beach allowed us to rest to the sounds of the sea of Kattegatt. Unforgettable. I envy Kåre who spent every childhood summer on this tranquil island.

Another train ride took us back to Kristianstad with the oft-visited Otto’s ice cream store in Åhus, and nearby Sölvesborg where my parents reside in the country in a small community of summer cottages by the Baltic Sea. It was a whirlwind of my mom’s fabulous cooking, ice cream indulging, and visiting with dear friends and close relatives. My sister Suss and her kids and husband who usually live in London were also at my parents’ place. I met my new niece little adorable Daisy for the first time. My sister Kit along with my nephew Danne came down from Stockholm. One magical evening was spent by the nearby docks and boathouses. The twilight of a summer evening in Sweden lasts for hours and is best enjoyed outside preferably in the company of hotdogs, wine, and people idly dangling their feet from the docks watching the reflection in the water. One of the finest hours indeed.

Stockholm was next on the agenda. A few wonderful days were filled with Kit and Tomas’ hospitality and outings. We saw the state rooms at the Royal Palace, the changing of the guards, had ice cream in Gamla Stan, met up with old online friends in real life, visited Danne’s place of work which is the only remaining cavalry in Sweden, and ate endless good food in the company of wonderful people including my brother Håkan. After two days the train took us back south to my mom’s for another party with neighbors and relatives. You have never lived until you have played bocce ball or petanque late at night in the waning light holding a cocktail in your other hand. The whole international party walked over to a nearby court after dinner. We played hard until it was so dark the tiny ball, the jack, was barely visible. Players trying to mark the spot of the jack using feet and shoes had some close calls with heavy metal balls that night. The American team prevailed and beat out the Brits and Swedes.

The easy living at Rille and Björn’s and the ice cream store beckoned again. The last few days we relaxed at their house enjoying even more good food and beverages. Little niece Alize and Chris had time to develop a special bond despite language barriers. “I love you” easily rolls off even a Swedish three-year-old’s tongue. Blond blue-eyed girls take to him for some reason. He can’t resist Swedish girls and giant freshly made waffle cones filled with enormous scoops of sweet pear ice cream laced with milk chocolate ripples and eaten while walking on a sandy beach.

My visit to Sweden also holds multiple memories of days and evenings with long-time childhood friends, beautiful friends whom I have known for forever and who live entirely too far away but reside permanently in my heart.

Every time I see them, it is as if no time has passed and we just pick up where we left off only a little wiser and more wrinkled. I savor every minute I get to spend in the company of Lotta, Cilla, and Åsa and their families. In my eyes they don’t look a day over 9 like the shiny-faced, bright-eyed and fun-loving fourth graders I remember from good years past. Reconnecting with them and some other dear old friends (Unfortunately this time I missed a few I really would have liked to have seen.) grounds me and gives me a deep and satisfying sense of belonging even when I am far far away in a foreign land.

Morning Routine

How did the day begin? Well, I got up early. I usually wake up when the first few shafts or hints of daylight wend their intricate way through my beige cotton bedroom curtains, which at this time of the year is at 5 A.M. Yes, unfortunately that early. I am like a rooster. I am always up at dawn no matter when I go to bed. At least I don’t crow. Quiet as a mouse, I slip out of bed. The dog opens one eye watching me from dreamland but doesn’t follow me. Not yet.

I tiptoe downstairs and make my tea and slip outside to retrieve the paper out of the mailbox in our cul-de-sac. Early morning is a very serene time of day. The house is still and quiet. The kids snooze innocently in their beds. The husband mumbles in his sleep. The dog is too tired to pay attention.

Before I step out for the paper, I fill the shiny electric kettle just to the one-cup water line and press the on button. When I walk back in, the water is already boiling and gurgling away on the tile counter. I leave about an inch when I fill the tall glass with the hot water in order to add cream and then cold water. My teabag goes in the glass, seeps for a minute—I like my tea weak unlike everything else in my life—and gets disposed of in the compost bin under the kitchen sink. I leave about an inch when I fill my glass with the hot water in order to add cream and then cold water.

Cold air envelopes me as I open the fridge to reach for cream. The bottle of cream makes a faint clanging sound against the grey tile when I put it down to remove the plastic cap. It comes off with a little pop and out pours the thick off-white goodness. We buy the tastiest locally produced cream in glass bottles. A tablespoon or so goes straight into my glass of tea. As the heavy cream mixes with the hot Chai Tea, or sometimes my first cup is Jasmine Green Tea, it swirls around in circles. In order to sip my morning beverage as soon as possible, I add a few squirts of cold tap water.

The paper is spread on the wood counter island. I gently put my glass down after the first heavenly sip and start scanning the front page headlines. The house is still quiet. As I leaf through the paper and enjoy my tea, I hear the dog yawn, stretch, and clip-clop across the floor upstairs. The morning spell is interrupted when she descends the stairs noisily and joins me with huffs and puffs of joy and the occasional lick. Morning has broken. Literally.

Bike Bar and Baby

6/18/11
One of Chris' favorite breweries is Hopworks. Whenever we talk about going out, he usually wants to go there or to Double Mountain in Hood River, but that is a little far just for lunch.

Saturday, the day after the last day of work, we had a few errands to run in Portland and decided to hit a new Hopworks watering hole, Bike Bar, on Williams in North Portland. Chris was not disappointed. Along with a fantastic pint, he ordered a bacon cheese burger all the while playing with his brandnew computer, right out of the box. Outside Bike Bar, they have two stationary bicycles which generate electricity for the beer joint. Cool. Chris had a good time!

However, the favorite part of my day was holding a newborn little baby, baby Odin. Heidi's and Josh's. After lunch at Bike Bar we drove to West Linn to visit. Little Odin was beautiful particiularly after eating when I had him resting peacefully in my arms. Special. I should have taken a picture. Darn.

I'll Be Keeping My Day Job

A month or so ago my friend Jack, who is a photography teacher at one of the high schools in our district, launched a really cool project with his students. He came up with an idea for an ad campaign for healthy foods and found staff and students around the district for the actual pictures. On the day of the shoot, he had an area set up like a real photo shoot and then the "models" stopped by and their pictures taken by the students who were running the shoot. What a fabulous idea!

I brought my downhill skiing gear including hat, scarf and jacket. By the time I had put on all the gear and clothes, I was sweating like a pig. Luckily this didn't show in the picture. I had a hard time looking natural in front of the camera. Who knew it was that hard? Anyway, the results of the photoshoot were great. I saw all the pictures on display at the school. However, I don't think I will be doing any more modeling. For many reasons! :-)

Katinka in the Paper

Every year, the local papers--both the Oregonian and the Gresham Outlook--publish pictures of the area schools' valedictorians. This is Katinka's picture from the Outlook. When I read it, I beamed with pride. Again. She did an amazing thing.

Sequoia Draws

Sequoia is a budding artist. This is a drawing she did as school as part of an assignment. I found it tossed on the floor in Katinka's room.
"What?? Where did this come from? Who drew it?"
Sequoia nonchalantly said she did, "What's the big deal, mom?"
"It's fantastic. I love it, Maymay! Good job!"

School Is Out For Summer!

6/16/11
The very last day of high school for the kids--middle ended a day before--we celebrated by buying tons of ice cream and not just any ice cream but Ben & Jerry's in various flavors. The kids were elated when I walked in the door with a bag full of cartons. The Cookie Dough one was snapped up first. Sequoia had dibs on Strawberry Cheese Cake flavor. Tydon had his eye on Milk & Cookies. We all wanted Karamel Sutra in order to dig out the luscious band of soft caramel running down the whole middle part.

I helped myself to lots of Cherry Garcia. Nobody else seems to like that flavor. I love it! Ordinarily I really don't care for anything cherry-flavored, but there is just something about this ice cream especially when it's half melted, and the pieces of cherries and bits of chocolate are easy to get to. Mmmmmmm. Good thing I don't have ice cream for dinner every night...

Quick. Grab it.

The little ducklings at Farmer Mike’s were adorable. I wanted to linger despite the chaos of chicken slaughter and barn equipment mess just to keep looking at them. Small and fragile and huddled together, they peeked at me warily as I tried to snap a picture. The photo was meant to remind me of one of the beautiful moments of today.

Some days I feel I have to lunge at and cling to the little glimmers of lighthearted delight I encounter. These moments are easily drowned in the avalanche of cerebral onslaught our senses experience every day. They need to be horded and guarded and revered. For me, they are immortalized with a simple photograph and extended with a few sentences committed to paper.

Bottomless Pit

6/11/11

"Living is strife and torment, disappointment and love and sacrifice, golden sunsets and black storms. I said that some time ago, and today I do not think I would add one word."
-Laurence Olivier

Time Flies on Restless Pinions

6/9/11

“I hope your dreams take you... to the corners of your smiles, to the highest of your hopes, to the windows of your opportunities, and to the most special places your heart has ever known.”

I look at her blue cap and gown, and I think, “Not long ago she was my beautiful little baby.” It is true when they say to enjoy your kids while you can, and that the years go whizzing by, and all of a sudden your little darlings are gone. My oldest child graduated from high school Thursday night, and I am still reeling from missing her toddler-self. Time is marching too fast for me.

Now she will be out in the world independently making decisions about her own life and future, and I am afraid haven’t taught her everything she needs to know. There’s more wisdom and knowledge to impart, but I ran out of time. She will make mistakes that I can’t fix. She will fall down and I can’t be there to pick her up.

As a mother, I have prepared her and me for this moment for a long time, but I still can’t shake the feeling of entering a period of existential dread. I am very excited for her. Don’t get me wrong. She is extraordinarily talented and ambitious, and her heart is filled with kindness. Life has lots of adventures and accomplishments in store for her. Life for me, however, will be a balance act of finding a new semblance of normalcy without her. I will miss her. Our family will miss her.

Nobody Knows the Truffles I've Seen

My first attempt at making truffles. It was pretty easy. How can you go wrong with chocolate and cream? It was the decorating part that was tricky, dipping in milk chocolate and drizzling with white chocolate, but they turned out smashing if I may say so. They are for Tink's graduation party. My baby is graduating from high school tomorrow! Yikes. This requires lots of truffles. Eating of lots of truffles. Lots.

Extraordinary Eggs

6/7/11

Live modestly. Eat decadently. That’s my motto in these desperate times. The few extra dollars I manage to squirrel away I happily spend on food. It would pain me to spend any more of my hard earned money on clothes, cars, or trinkets, but when it comes to food, my wallet is wide open.

Chris and I make weekly trips away from the consumer wasteland that is Gresham, also known as the armpit of Multnomah County. Every weekend we drive into Portland in search of better quality food. We usually hit Trader Joe’s for nuts, cheese, cereal, bread, dog treats (!), and wine in search of mostly organic high quality staples and perishables. Next stop is New Seasons for the well stocked and well staffed meat counter, Stumptown coffee, tea selection, and cream in glass bottles. We often pick up organic vegetables there as well particularly leafy greens like kale and chard and amazing fresh asparagus in the spring. Some weeks our pit stop includes Costco because of the awesome prices on giant bins of organic mixed lettuce and baby spinach. However, lately we have grown disenchanted with Costco due to their ever-changing product lineup. The minute you get accustomed to a product, they switch it out. Very annoying.

This summer is the second summer we have purchased a share in Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) at Dancing Roots Farm in Corbett. Starting in May, we go to the farm every Monday evening and pick up freshly harvested outstanding organic vegetables. In addition to veggies we get eggs. Farmer Mike brings us a dozen eggs weekly from his free range chickens. His eggs are absolutely fresh and tastes heavenly. The egg yolks are astonishingly yellow and perky. I love the varied colors of the eggs in any given carton. A few times a year, we also buy chicken from Mike and at Thanksgiving last year, a succulent turkey. New for us this year is the purchase of half a cow, grass-fed and free of antibiotics, to be delivered in the fall.

Needless to say, all this running around and concern about quality ends up costing extra money. To me it is worth it. I can’t stand the thought of horrendous animal factory feed lots, and fields and agricultural workers exposed to toxic pesticides. I would like to think that I contribute to all that misery as little as possible. It surprises me how little people seem to care about the food they put in their bodies, how little they care where it came from, and how it was produced and by whom. People are remarkably lackadaisical and unreflective about the horrors of mass food production and the diseases that ensue. Every local grocery store contains more chemicals packed in bottles and boxes and covering the produce than a Chinese River and people aren’t alarmed, not even concerned. Odd.

Zebra Walk

Whenever I am working at my closest school for the whole day and do not need to drive between several buildings in the middle of the workday, I leave the car at home and walk to work. Today was one of those days. The walk to school takes about 12-13 minutes along flat residential streets in suburbia, so it does not exactly require prodigious effort. It is more of a humdrum stroll easily accomplished while half asleep.

I set off in the overcast but comfortably warm morning with my Timbuk2 bag, containing my lunch and notebooks, on my back and wearing only a t-shirt and skirt. On my feet I had flip flops, my favorite zebra-striped flip flops. Walking briskly in flip flops requires skill and agility which eluded me this morning. My shoes felt too big and were bothering me, so I kicked them off. Clasping them in both hands, I continued on barefoot and unfazed.

As soon as I felt the earth--slightly subjugated under a layer of pavement but nevertheless grounding--beneath my toes, my mood brightened and my step quickened. The world came into focus. Barefoot habits have that kind of influence and power. Every nerve ending in the soles of my feet woke up with a shout of glee. My feet tingled with wellbeing. Suddenly a tedious walk of quiet desperation to work turned into a triumphant prose-worthy journey of quintessential discovery. A Clydesdale horse turned into a Zebra. Never underestimate drudgery.

Flatness

6/5/11

Sunday was a flat day. The weather was flat. The food was bland. The wine was flavorless like grocery store strawberries. My mood was muted like a matte photograph. The book I was reading was lifeless. TV offerings were vapid much like all other days. My writing was deflated and pointless like a collapsed arch. Sapless. A horizontal watery kind of day. A ho hum pancake day. And that's all I have to say about that.

First Day of Summer Heat

6/4/2011

Our first real day of summer seemed unreal. We had planned to go play disc golf at Dabney State Park with Eden, Megan, and Jared. When I was getting ready in the morning, I put on a skirt and t-shirt and then I couldn't decide which sweater or jacket to bring. Finally, I settled on one and walked outside around 9:30AM only to find that it was too hot to bring a jacket. How about that?? We are so not used to warm weather. It was almost hard to leave to house without that jacket. I kept thinking I would need it in the shade at the park. Nope. Too warm. Aaah! Finally, some summer.

Disc golfing was a blast. On the second hole, both Megan and I lost our discs in the pond. Eden, the hero, decided to jump in and look for them in the murky water. He found Megan's disc but not mine. However, he found five other discs. Score! Apparently, few people find it worthwhile to get into that freezing water to retrieve lost discs. Maybe it's been too cold until now. Eden didn't seem to suffer and finished playing 18 holes in his soggy clothes in the much awaited summer heat.

Katinka, the Science Scholar

6/3/2011

Katinka was awarded the Science Merit Scholar Award during senior assembly today. The science department teachers picked her as the most outstanding student of the year. What a nice accomplishment! She wants to continue studying science in college, biology at the University of Oregon. I have no doubt that she will do great. She is very bright, hard working, ambitious, and determined. I am very very proud of her. Go Tink!

Run, Bay, Run!

Bailey is recovering from hamstring surgery he had on February 2nd this year—his right hamstring was completely detached from the hipbone—and has just finished 8 weeks of weekly physical therapy. Now he is on to 8 weeks of running exercises and strength training, which he is doing on his own according to a schedule given to him by the physical therapist. Every other day this first week, he is supposed to spend 20-30 minutes alternating between running and walking every 2 minutes. In addition, he does lunges and grapevines and more. This morning at 6AM Bay and I went out together to run. It was a little chilly and barely dry. The rain seemed to be hanging in the air, which is really perfect weather for running. We ran around the neighborhood before the world was up and about. It is such a peaceful time of the day, my favorite. Only a few cars buzzed by and a handful of joggers and walkers shared the empty streets. I'm a seeker of daily silver linings, and filling my lungs with fresh early morning air and exercising with my son certainly enhanced the day.

Dental Delight

My mouth was forced agape for 1.5 hours. This kind of experience is generally a fairly objectionable ordeal; however, I managed well due to the impressive and kind professionals involved. Today I had a temporary crown put in because of a cracked molar as well as impressions made for the permanent crown. Customer service, or rather patient service, makes the dentist’s office where I go a pleasant place. My family and I have always been treated with the utmost friendliness by both office and medical staff. They are always patient and helpful even when I take up inconsiderate amounts of their time over the phone trying to schedule the whole family for teeth cleanings. They joke around and remember our names when all eight of us stream through the door like a freak show passing through town. The dentists and assistants take their time explaining procedures. The hygienists are gentle. All in all, I feel well cared for when I walk in. Today was no exception. My visit to the dentist’s was quite nice. It may even have been the best part of the day. At this point one might wonder what the hell is wrong with me. Lying supine in a vinyl chair with buzzing appliances filling the mouth is not exactly a knee-slapper. Maybe I had just anxiously anticipated the worst, and it turned out to be easypeasy? I need more excitement and hullabaloo in my life I think. More inspiring events and more adventures. More kerfuffle. It is pretty pathetic when a dental procedure earns the highlight-of-the-day award.

Kitchen Minimalism

Finally, the ugly upper kitchen cabinets are gone! I wanted to yank out those hideous abominations masquerading as cabinets and replace them with just a single shelf for a long time. I just had to work up enough disgust to find the energy to start yet another home improvement project. The urge to purge had been building for a while and I couldn't stand it any longer after being home for three days straight. Chris has learned that when I get that itch, it is difficult to stop me or change my mind. He has also learned that little by little all my crazy ideas add up to living quality improvement. Well, almost all ideas. Some ideas come with a lot of work and expense to him.

This time after only minor grumbling he good-naturedly agreed to demolish the cabinets Sunday night. I spackled all cracks and holes before I went to bed. The next morning I got up early and sanded and painted the walls and ceiling white, two coats. While the paint was drying, we went off to buy the shelves and brackets. We had to borrow a skilsaw from the neighbor in order to cut the shelves down to size. Our own tool arsenal is very modest. By the Monday afternoon, it was all done. I am very pleased with the result. I have always loved open shelves and clean uncluttered looks. Ideally, I would gut the kitchen completely and construct my dream kitchen with light recycled wood, slate, a gas range, sky lights, and vaulted ceilings. Since that option is not in the budget at this time, smaller-scale changes will have to do for a while. So for now the home improvement monster who resides inside me is satiated and will slumber for an undetermined period of time...

First Backyard Fire

5/30/11

Rain. Rain. Rain. Even moisture tolerant Oregonians are getting sick and tired of the rain this year. Apparently, we have had a record year of rain. Again. The weather gods’ displeasure is evident. The Columbia River is flooding low-lying areas in Portland, farmers are weeks behind planting schedule, and the lawn in the back is soggy in spots like a marsh. Along with all the rain comes the cold. In other words, it has not been a particularly warm and sunny spring, and it is really nearly summer. What gives?

Due to the prolonged rains, whenever there is the slightest break in the weather, people fling doors and windows open and stampede outside. They pour out of their homes like rats scatter off a sinking ship. Cows, busting down barn doors to get to the succulent spring grass, come to mind. Yesterday which was Memorial Day, when the afternoon sun peeked out, the neighborhood was abuzz with lawn mowers and shrieking restless kids. The hoop in the cul-de-sac kept many kids occupied for hours adding another sound effect, the continuous thud of bouncing basketballs, to the suburban neighborhood cacophony. After a long, dark, cooped up, and non-existent spring the human joy was almost palpable.

We enjoyed ourselves and the little sliver of spring-like weather granted us by having a fire in the backyard pit. Lisa and Kare came over for an impromptu BBQ dinner consisting of chicken, steak, pesto rice, pea vine shoots and arugula braised in garlic butter, asparagus, and scrumptious strawberries drizzled in dark chocolate and dipped in whipped cream. Sorry to stray from the main topic, but food porn is simply unavoidable for me. After dinner, wine glass in hand (an interesting and sparkling pinot noir from Argyle supplied by Lisa and Kare) and comfortably settled in a chair, I took great pleasure in the first fire of the year in the company of friends and family. The evening was mild, only requiring a sweatshirt by the roaring flames, and carried a promise of summer evenings yet to come. The smell of burning wood and the movement of dancing flames are timelessly seductive, hard to resist. Oblivious to the chiming of workday alarm clocks drawing closer and closer, we ended up lingering fireside into the night.

Food Porn

5/29/11

Strawberry season is getting close. Close enough that we sometimes can get decent strawberries from California until the better local varieties are in. I love strawberries in any form and decided to include some in my salad at lunch today. Usually I include any titillating veggies and leftover food I find in the refrigerator. Today’s creation turned out to be glorious. I made a salad with mixed greens, roasted beets and radishes, leftover steak, and sliced strawberries. For dressing I simply used balsamic vinegar and olive oil. So simple. So splendid.

Bloody Steak

5/28/11

After years of vegetarianism, I have been eating meat for the last year or so. It has been a good experience particularly since I found out after having a blood test last week that my B-12 levels are superb as well as my iron. This was not always the case. About a year and a half ago I started feeling tired and depressed in the midst of winter and I couldn’t shake it. I went to the doctor and found out my B-12 and iron levels were very low. In addition, vitamin D levels were below any guidelines. The doctor prescribed B-12, iron and mega doses of vitamin D. After a few weeks, I started feeling better. I vowed to not get myself into that bottomless pit and carnival of despair, i.e. nutrient deficiency, again.

I started thinking that it didn’t seem right that eating a vegetarian diet of mostly organic foods would lead to deficiencies. My thinking and reading lead to a couple of books (“Good calories, Bad Calories,” and “The Perfect Health Diet”) and I realized I probably should be eating some meat as well as increasing my fatty fish intake. At the same time I switched out all light or non-fat dairy products for the real deal full fat versions. I also cut down on grains and sugar.

In addition to being able to maintain healthy levels of B-12 and iron without supplements, I have also experienced some other health benefits. My hands and feet used to be cold all the time. My body temperature seemed to be at the low end of the normal range at all times. I think the extra fat in the diet helped alleviate this problem. These days I rarely feel cold. One of the best parts of this diet is better sleep. For years I have suffered from insomnia. Anymore I sleep like a baby. It is incredible.

Adding fat to the diet has other benefits as well, gastronomical benefits. Everything tastes fantastic when cooked in butter and cream! I have always believed I didn’t care much for the taste of beef, but I have discovered that I really like steak, rare to medium cooked steak. It is strange after all these years to be yearning for steak. Bizarre really. I still can’t stand the thought of the horrendous conditions and procedures of big factory feedlot farming, so I buy all meat from organic grassfed sources, meat from happy cows I strongly believe. Part of last night’s BBQ dinner was an amazing piece of flank steak (also called London Broil for whatever reason) cooked on the grill for 6 minutes per side and sliced up against the grain. Yum.

Words with Friends

5/27/11

Generally, I am a hater when it comes to electronic games. Recently I have had to make an exception. The new favorite pastime in our house is the iphone app Words With Friends (WWF). I started out playing a game with my friend Karli who is hooked on playing WWF with her husband. My husband became interested. Today we played several games sitting in the dark in the living room with only our iphones lighting up the intense word finding race. Earlier in the day, Katinka and I played a couple of times. The fun part is that you can have ongoing games with several people for days on end. You just pick up and play wherever you left off the last time. Karli and I are moving along at snail's pace with about one move daily per person, but it is still entertaining. Electronic scrabble like WWF is better than real scrabble because when you are down to just a few tiles, you can test out all the combinations you can possibly think of. The app will accept real words and reject others without penalty, which comes in handy. I guess electronic games do not all signal the complete freefall of modern civilization after all…

Red Red Wine

5/26/11

Today is Thursday but it really is our Friday because we had a furlough day. What is always a good way to spend Friday night? Hanging out with friends! We went to Kim and Eric’s house for dinner. And what a dinner it was! We ate grilled asparagus, Korean beef, barbecued chicken, homemade macaroni and cheese, as well as a spectacular strawberry pie with whipped cream. We all know how I feel about whipped cream. After the meal I finished off the whipped cream with a spoon right out of the bowl. What a breathtaking extravaganza!
Now, no good meal is consumed without a good wine. This particular glass of red was imbibed at the moment of arrival. It was not an expensive wine, just an everyday kind from Trader Joe’s, but it sure was satisfying. I enjoyed every lush complex drop in that first glass, every opulent gulp. Ah, red wine!

Stop and Smell the Lilac

Walking into the house and being met by a luscious lilac scent is an exceptional way to be greeted at the door upon returning home from the coal mine. The lavender lilac was picked by me this morning. The backyard bushes have been in bloom for a couple of days and I have been planning on bringing some cuts into the kitchen. When I woke up this morning to dreary rainy skies, I knew I needed something uplifting and sunny in my day. The lilac bushes came to mind. Before I left for work this morning, I armed myself with the kitchen scissors and ventured outside in the drizzle to clip a few sprigs of fragrant blossoms. The small flowers were even more striking against the bright green leaves than normal due to raindrops. Sometimes rainfall makes everything really crisp and clean looking outside. I placed the bouquet center stage on the island in the kitchen for all to see. And smell. Bringing nature inside in a vase helps dispersing dark clouds. My attractive flower arrangement did exactly what I had intended for it, emanating sweet mirth and lifting sour moods.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Sam (not his real name) comes ones a week to a language group I run in one of my schools. He was born with cognitive and physical delays and spends part of his day in special classes. Sam is very social and walks down the hall at his middle school high-fiving every other student. Once in two years, I have seen him upset and sad. Generally his face shines with excitement and his smile brightens everyone’s day. Nothing is ever an obstacle to Sam. He loves to talk but his articulation skills are impacted due to poor motor control and planning. Sam omits sounds and chops off words while speaking, which makes him unintelligible to unfamiliar listeners in most contexts.
My small student group was answering questions and took turns circling correct responses on the whiteboard. It was Sam's turn to walk up to the board, grab a pen, and be prepared to answer the next question. I told him once that it was his turn, and he gave me a blank stare. I prompted him again, "Sam, it's your turn. Are you ready?" His priceless reply came back quickly like the crack of a whip, "Wha? I wa bown weady." There was much laughter. Indeed, he was. Born ready to make the world a better place.

Love Letter

A sweet little girl at work gave me a letter today, the nicest letter I have received in a while. Made my day!

A River Runs Through It

We ended the evening last night with good food, good drinks, and good friends hanging out at the house in Sunriver. We were all a little pooped after the events of the day, participating in the race Pole Pedal Paddle. Jack and Terrence had been drinking pretty much straight for two days and were fading somewhat. Pat and Karli, and Chris and I played some Sequence over wine and beer. Heidi and Bryan relaxed on the couch. We all just chilled while reminiscing about the day and joking around. I laughed out loud many times until my stomach ached. The evening ended with a heated educator discussion, not unusual when teachers get together. It was a fun and loud day.

The contrast when I woke up early this morning to a quiet peaceful house was striking. I made my tea, unlocked the back patio door, and slipped out into sunshine and wet grass. I tiptoed towards the grassy river bank and the slow-flowing river where steam was rising in ringlets from the surface against a tree-lined horizon. Silently I sipped my green tea and watched five nutrias playfully bob up and down in the water while getting carried downriver by the current. Ducks landed and fish jumped breaking the serene stillness with a gentle splash. I wondered if I would appreciate this splendid scenery as much if I woke up to it every morning.

Xcountry Skiing

5/21/11

My leg as part of Team Chick Magnets was cross-country skiing. I had actually been dreading it a little bit. The course is 5 miles and I have done it before, so I knew it was hard especially the hill at the end. Who designs a xcountry race with a GIANT-ASS one-mile hill at the very end?? Well, I guess there were limitations since the race makes up one part of a relay race and is sandwiched between downhill skiing and bicycling.

Bryan did the downhill leg and I was waiting in chute D for him. He came flying in and tagged my pole with his pole and I was off. The first hurdle was not biffing it right out of the gate in a turn in front of all the onlookers. I made it through there doing pretty well judging by a video Chris took. The first two miles zipped by like butter. Amazing.

I was enjoying being out in the woods and seeing the snow. I even remembered to practice mindfulness and to "stop and smell the roses" while I was out there skiing my hiney off. Rather than focusing on the strip of mushy snow ahead of me and the panting of other competitors, once or twice I slowed down a little and glanced out between the trees at the expanse of white covering the ground. There is something about that sight that stirs my viking blood. Childhood memories? I am not sure. I just like it.

I kept a good pace throughout and felt pretty strong finishing in the end by climbing the huge hill at a nice clip. Chris waited for me in the bike area. I tagged him and he took off down towards Bend, a 22-mile mostly downhill exhilarating ride. Once he arrived at the bike/run exchange, Heidi sprinted off for her 5-mile run. At the run/kayak exchange Jack was waiting to get into the Deschutes River for a bit of paddling. Once Jack was in the water, we positioned ourselves strategically on a bridge to cheer him on and pelt him with peeps. I had a blast tossing yellow peeps at people down below in kayaks and canoes as they were passing under the bridge. "Peeps from above!" and "You've been peeped," we screamed as we hurled little puffs of yellow sugary marshallow chicks off the bridge. They floated away in the river like miniature yellow rubber duckies. Good times.

Ode to Whipped Cream

Like a cloud plucked from the sky
whipped cream, smooth and dense
I get high by the bowlfull

Ubuntu

The highlight of the day was book club. Need I say more? The book we discussed was “The Other Wes Moore” by Wes Moore. The author relates the story of his childhood and upbringing as a poor black inner city East coast kid along with that of a namesake in the same neighborhood. Wes Moore eventually turned into an upstanding citizen and a stellar person, while “the other Wes Moore” ended up in prison for life. He compares their lives and the small decisions or spur of the moment turn of events that shaped them. Fascinating. The book sparked a lot of conversation in our book club when we, a group of middle-aged women all in education, met for dinner and drinks at Typhoon. My glass of Sangria was perfect. We sat outside soaking up the lingering heat of some of the first summery days we have experienced in a while discussing the book. There was a word in the book that has stayed with me, ubuntu. I can’t believe I didn’t know what it meant, that I haven’t come across it before. Well, I have but only in computer programming contexts. What it really refers to is an ethic or humanist philosophy focusing on people's allegiances and relations with each other and it is of African origin. In the words of Desmond Tutu, “A person with Ubuntu is open and available to others, affirming of others, does not feel threatened that others are able and good, for he or she has a proper self-assurance that comes from knowing that he or she belongs in a greater whole and is diminished when others are humiliated or diminished, when others are tortured or oppressed.”

A Single Rose at Work

When I arrived at work today and unlocked the door to my office, I found a rose on my desk. I am lucky because my husband and I work in the same school. Well, I work in three schools but my home base is at his middle school. I am also lucky because my husband often surprises me with flowers. It started when we were first dating over nine years ago.

Sometimes on his way home from campus—we were neighbors in student housing in graduate school at the University of Oregon—he would stop at a flower shop and buy me one gerbera daisy because he knew it was my favorite flower. Still is. He hardly had any money at all but at the end of the day the gerbera daisies were only 75 cents apiece. Even a poor college student can dig trough pockets and drawers and come up with 75 cents. A gift of flowers works wonders. It makes me feel appreciated and loved. It means he took time out of his day to find me an item I care about just to make me smile. I usually don’t smile when I open the door to my office at work. Today I did.

Splendor in the Grass

My doggie, Coalie, is getting old. She spends most of her time sleeping these days. Look at all that grey around her muzzle and on her chest and paws! She has one large lump of fat tissue on her right shoulder, which hurts her when she walks. If it were not for her medicine, her arthritis would make her yelp getting off beds and unable to get down the stairs. There have been times when Chris has had to carry all 90 lbs of her down and into the car to get to the veterinarian. Labs are stoic however, so I am sure she has pains and ailments we don't even know about. Despite her old age decrepitude, she is as sweet as ever. She has the softest ears and smells good. This is true. She smells like a dog but she smells good. Or maybe I am just strange! Occasionally I get a glimpse of her former puppy self when she wags her tail like crazy and bounces up down in excitement when I get home and in anticipation of getting a treat. She also loves rolling in the grass in the sunshine. I caught a picture of her today enjoying a dog's perfect pastime, lounging in the grass in the late afternoon sun.

Bare Feet in the Morning

Early morning runs are more enjoyable in the spring than winter. Although this morning when I went out on my run, it was definitely chilly. I was barefoot as I have been easing into barefoot running in the last year or so. My toes instantly turned numb and cold. Just as they started warming up thanks to increased circulation from my huffing and puffing, I hit the wet grass at the middle school, and they froze again only to slowly thaw out little by little as my body heated up. Usually it is warmer on the wet pavement than in the soggy grass when the temperature is in the 40s (F/5-10C), so I was not surprised. The advantage of running in the grass is obvious; it is softer and a more natural surface—less harsh on the feet. However, it can also be more difficult and unpredictable because I can’t see all objects like sticks and stones potentially hiding beneath the blades of grass.
A couple of trees in full bloom provided a bit of beautiful magic as well this morning like a hidden petal world. Gorgeous views aside, my favorite part of barefoot running is splashing in puddles and leaping through mud.

After rainfall the middle school offers opportunities for both. I love the feeling of mud oozing between my toes even when it is cold outside. It feels grounded and very real. I am actually touching the earth with a bare part of my body. My naked feet root me and connect me to something large and ancient. So at 6A.M. as the wind whispered sounds of promise and renewal in tunnels of tree blossoms around me, the earth hummed songs of solace to my toes. Benefited both sole and soul. Priceless way to begin the day.

Tiptoe Through My Tulips

5/15/11

Late fall every year I longingly eye all the spring bulbs at nurseries, Fred Meyer, Home Depot, and Costco. The pictures on the packages look fabulous and I envision how stunning the flowers would look in various corners of my yard. Usually all the stores have enormous displays and cases and cases of bulbs for sale. After a while of drooling over the bountiful bulb stock, I usually succumb to decision paralysis and become overwhelmed and can’t decide what I would like to buy and plant and enjoy. It never fails. It happens every year. Except last year! Last fall while grocery shopping at Costco I came across the bulb selection once again. Somehow I managed to muster up the moxie to actually choose a couple of bags of bulbs and later the energy to plant them before the first frost. A few weeks ago I was rewarded with a spring surprise of a row of proud and vibrant tulips in the midst of the chaos and wilderness of our yard. I have not been able to cut a single one to bring inside; they seemed too precious and perfect. Today I am glad I captured them in their late state glory with my camera in between rain showers.

Sublime Asparagus Experience

5/14/11

Picking the top experience of the day was difficult. I really enjoyed some barefoot disc golfing with Chris, Honi and Jared at Pier Park in St. John early in the day when the sun was out. However, the grilled asparagus we had for dinner together with Lisa and Kare at our house took the prize. Lisa bought them at farmers market in Portland, so they were fresh as can be. Check out how long they were! With some olive oil and salt and pepper as well as a few minutes on the grill, they were fantastic. Tender, savory, mouthfuls of green goodness. Spring asparagus. Mmmm.
Now I am sure the rest of our meal also enhanced the sublime asparagus experience. We started with deviled eggs with anchovies, and mozzarella with fresh basil on tomato slices. Appetizers were followed by small fingerling potatoes with lots of butter and sour cream, roasted cauliflower with toasted walnuts smothered with a lemon mustard sauce, grilled corn in the husk, grilled chicken as well as sirloin tip steak along with lots of wine from Cor Cellars, a Gorge vineyard we recently disovered. Fresh strawberries for dessert tied it all together to complete a gastronomic feast.

Ice Cream with Mayling

Rare moments alone with my daughter Sequoia, recently turned 16, I treasure. After dropping Bailey off at his PT appointment at Kaiser Interstate Sequioa, or Maymay or Mayling as she is also known, and I went to Ping, an amazing Asian fusion restaurant in the Pearl, for a bite to eat. We were both starving. Ping has never let me down before but I was a little unsure if they could accommodate Sequoia’s vegetarian preferences. No problem. She had roasted potato skewers, dal with bread, and jasmine rice, and she was happy. My fare consisted of divine chicken, beef, prawn, and lamb satay skewers along with a potato vinegar shochu drink. No complaints from me. However, most memorable today was our next stop, Cool Moon. Cool Moon serves homemade ice cream in the most tantalizing flavors e.g., kulfi (cardamom, pistachio, and rosewater) and chai tea. No matter how tempting some of the more adventurous flavors may seem, I usually settle for chocolate or strawberry. Hey, I am simple and easy to please. Well, sorta kinda. Some people would disagree. Ha. Anyway, I had the most heavenly scoop of Belgian chocolate ice cream, which turned out to be the most satisfying part of my day—not counting my precious time with my Mayling who by the way enjoyed birthday cake flavored ice cream. Perfect for celebrating sweet 16.

Meet of Champions

5/12/11
Today I attended Meet of Champions, a sports event for cognitively impaired high school students. Since I work as a speech language pathologist in a high school, I knew all the kids who represented our school. I am fortunate to be able to spend a day or two every school year going with them on field trips. Seeing “my” students outside of the educational or classroom setting helps me understand their strengths and weaknesses. I love seeing how they use some of the communication strategies and tools introduced at school out in the community.
The highlight of my day was watching a non-verbal boy, who communicates using sign language and an ipod touch with a voice output app, walk up to get registered for the 50-yard dash. When the official asked for his name, the student held out his lanyard with his attached student identification card. Independently. Yes! He then lined up, gave me a thumbs up and off he went at the sound of the starting gun. I ran to cheer him on at the end and met him as he came wobbling in across the finish line with a giant grin on his face and his hands raised in victory. I had a big grin on my face too as we high-fived in celebration. He signed “run” and “more” and pointed to the starting line. “Sure," I said. "Of course you can go again.” Who wouldn’t want to relive a glory moment like that?

Sidewalk Beauty

Finding joy in little things is hugely important. Every year at this time the sidewalks are littered with flower petals, which makes me happy. It transforms the ordinary suburban asphalt into a thing of beauty. It makes you stop in wonder. Like magic.

Rage Against Technology

I started this blog 2 days ago. Then Blogger hit some kind of snafu and was down for 2 days. My orginal blog disappeared and never came back!! So here I am trying to recreate it. This makes me very very angry.